We’re looking at it all wrong…

 

As I sit here, wondering if my antidepressant is no longer working or just needs to be stronger, I think about this new path that I am on lately and have so many questions.

When do you begin to tell people that you and your spouse are getting divorced?

Should it be as soon as you file with your lawyer? Or do you wait until you are completely divorced and have divided everything you own?

How does one bring that up in conversation? Over a Starbucks coffee chat, standing in line at the grocery store? Or do you wait for someone to notice that you are no longer wearing your wedding ring?

Should I sound upset and distressed, or happy and relieved ?

Should I only tell people that are very close to me, family and close friends? Or is this something that people expect to hear even in crossfit class during the warmup?

When do I change my status on Facebook??

So many things to think about and organize! It’s almost like being pregnant again! But without the registry, the oddly designed clothing and the parties with gifts of tiny clothing and funny pieces of furniture that you never knew you needed. (how do I work a Diaper Genie, again?)

But what if it were more like being pregnant? Or a wedding? What if we took divorce and turned that frown upside-down?! I know that there are already greeting cards to congratulate people on their divorce, there are divorce party themes on Pinterest, and I’m almost positive that there are t-shirts and other accessories being created for this event even as I write this blog.

So, why not treat it the same way as other lifetime milestones? I mean, technically, you are embarking on a life-changing journey much like marriage and pregnancy right? And while you may argue that funerals are also life changing journeys, they are more the end of those journeys and you won’t be there to appreciate the parties and gifts anyway. So let’s just focus on the time while we are living, shall we?

No, I think it’s high time that we begin to embrace this experience with the same vigor, and marketing, that we give to marriage and birth. Why not? The divorce rate is usually between 40-50% any given year in the U.S. alone. That’s a lot of people that need to be cheered up/pumped up and could use a party and a few fun gifts, don’t you think?

 

 

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