And so it has begun. The divvying up of our “assets and liabilities”. The tally sheet of expenses. One for you, two for me. We have taken our first step towards divorce-hood, as of today, and we handled it with the same grace that we have often utilized in public many times in the past. Silent calm. No tears, no screaming, no demands or threats.
We have proven, once again, that we are a stoic, organized and functional couple – even in our “uncoupling”.
Sad, but true.
As I sat there, at a long wooden conference table, with the tasteful decor surrounding me on a sunny but cold Saturday morning, I looked at my soon to be ex-husband and wondered what he must be thinking. Was he remembering the beginning of our relationship when we made each other laugh and spent lazy days together watching TV and eating greasy tacos? Maybe he was remembering all of the things about me that drove him crazy and made him resent me with each passing day? Or was he remembering all of the good times and great life experiences we had shared together? Was he really as upset as he appeared sometimes sitting at that table today, his eyes glistening and his voice tight, or was it just remnants of the beers he drank last night?
I didn’t ask, of course. What difference does it make now? We are entering into the business partner phase of our relationship. We know each other more than intimately by now, after twenty five years and three kids together it’s difficult not to know someone well.
I have his social security number memorized, the way he takes his coffee and how he likes his shirts done at the dry cleaners. I can tell you his birthday, where he was born, name off most of his extended family and some of their quirky stories, the make and model of his first car and bake his mother’s “secret family recipe” banana nut cake just like his mom.
But that all doesn’t matter now, because we are dissolving our partnership and changing that relationship forever. We will move along into a new phase of our lives still intersecting, but not together, trying to forget those details about each other. Pretending that we really don’t know each other anymore. Friends. Acquaintances. Uncoupled.