You’d think that once you get married that you would be guaranteed a steady partner who is always in your corner. When all others have forsaken or doubted you this person will rise up to your defense and support you.
That’s just crazy talk. Why take that road when your spouse can be your loudest critic? The one to point out your faults and shortcomings? Seeing the problem from the other person’s point of view and telling you how wrong you are to say/feel/think otherwise is so much more fun, isn’t it?
People are in a quandary over the divorce rate in our country, and in our generation, but I think that I get why it is so high. We don’t support each other in our everyday lives and when you lose that support (or never had it possibly) it leaves very little to keep you glued together. You know the idea of joining forces for a common cause isn’t too far off the mark when it comes to marriage. You have to join forces to buy a house, raise children, take on the IRS, etc. But we seem to forget that we need to join forces for the everyday situations, too. When the contractor is getting on my nerves I need to be able to vent about it and get a nod of agreement, or when the client at work is a total jerk it’s nice to hear someone agree that their behavior isn’t far above the manners of a chimpanzee.
But we seem to forget to “tend the garden” and allow the weeds of criticism to choke our relationship. Sad, but true.
Have you weeded your relationship garden lately? Are you the critic or the critiqued? Makes you wonder…