You’d think that once you get married that you would be guaranteed a steady partner who is always in your corner. When all others have forsaken or doubted you this person will rise up to your defense and support you.

Nah.

That’s just crazy talk. Why take that road when your spouse can be your loudest critic? The one to point out your faults and shortcomings? Seeing the problem from the other person’s point of view and telling you how wrong you are to say/feel/think otherwise is so much more fun, isn’t it?

People are in a quandary over the divorce rate in our country, and in our generation, but I think that I get why it is so high. We don’t support each other in our everyday lives and when you lose that support (or never had it possibly) it leaves very little to keep you glued together. You know the idea of joining forces for a common cause isn’t too far off the mark when it comes to marriage. You have to join forces to buy a house, raise children, take on the IRS, etc. But we seem to forget that we need to join forces for the everyday situations, too. When the contractor is getting on my nerves I need to be able to vent about it and get a nod of agreement, or when the client at work is a total jerk it’s nice to hear someone agree that their behavior isn’t far above the manners of a chimpanzee.

But we seem to forget to “tend the garden” and allow the weeds of criticism to choke our relationship. Sad, but true.

Have you weeded your relationship garden lately? Are you the critic or the critiqued? Makes you wonder…

You know that you have an addiction when your youngest child wakes up on Tuesday morning and, before saying “good morning”, announces “it’s Tuesday and that means it’s Biggest Loser night!” with a big smile. Is that wrong?…anyway…

To watch the contestants at home last week, and to see what they struggled with, was so sad and depressing for the most part (to me). You have to ask yourself, have these people NEVER seen the show before?? They know that the players will come home and have to apply what they’ve learned to real life, so why don’t their families and friends try to HELP them? It was incredible to see Austin’s friends try to entice him into eating cheesecake, cheese fries and burgers for his 21st birthday (as well as a pitcher of beer I’m guessing) The guy hasn’t had a girlfriend ever, finally is on the road to success and some “friend” of his is saying “one piece won’t kill you – it’s your favorite, and it’s your birthday!” She was thin, by the way, and probably never entertained a thought of him before as anything more than a friend to tell her boyfriend troubles to and thinks this is cute behavior.

He should have pushed her down the stairs.

The biggest moment was at the end when each contestant had to declare who they wanted as their trainers for the next half of the competition after the 5K challenge. We all new that Arthur wasn’t going to win it. But admit it, you were rooting for him not to be last. He’s sort of gotten under your skin – you hate to think so because he can be such an idiot, and he’s obviously lacking in any real direction, otherwise he wouldn’t have gotten up to 600 pounds in the first place. But when it came down to watching the treadmill race, I know that I really wanted him to be safe to stay with Bob and Jillian. He needs to be with them.

It wasn’t meant to be, though. For some reason, Sara decided to grow a pair and “make a choice”. Wait…what?? It seemed a bit too dramatic for me to believe that right at the end she came out of her shell and was ready to declare her independence. Suddenly she wanted to be her own person and think of herself and do what was right for herself. Don’t misunderstand, I applaud her for her growing confidence, but she knew what the consequences would be for someone else and decided then – at THAT moment – to put herself first and basically screw someone else in the process. Someone who needs to be there more than anybody else.

Had she done it and made the choice with a determination, actually CHOSE Bob and Jillian for a real reason which means NOT CHOOSING Brett and Cara, I would have understood. But it was that quirky little smile and shoulder shrug that pissed me off. “I just thought I needed a change”…It was the need to be the center of attention, to be in control of not only her destiny but someone else’s in my opinion, and for all of the wrong reasons. (Remember, she had her mother miss her sister’s wedding to be on BL with her ,to help her in her journey – a phrase of which I am soooo sick of hearing at this point I could vomit – this is someone with attention issues…)

But, then again, it was Arthur that made her switch teams in the first place, so maybe the underlying reason was just this simple: payback is a bitch. And that bitch is named Sara (and Jen, who also broke rank with the Red team and went back to the Black team as soon as she was able)

In the end, Arthur was the sacrificial lamb for the Red team. Anything to protect “the family” (did you hear that gag sound? that was me…) when in reality Kaylee should have been sent home. One pound?? Are you freaking kidding me?! If she wasn’t trying to be the new super trainer for her town and actually worked out herself, she would have lost weight. That whole “pay it forward” attitude only works once you actually make it to your goal. Otherwise you pay out of your own account and only lose ONE FREAKIN’ POUND!

Makes you wonder what they are really getting out of this experience, doesn’t it? Let’s look at the numbers and the players for just a moment: the Red Team is stacked with big guys who need to lose big numbers and should, by past season’s examples, be pulling double digits WEEKLY. The Black Team is completely made up of women – and not 500 pound women – that have consistently beaten the Red Team at the weigh-ins. These women are pulling DOUBLE DIGITS! Marcy lost 16 POUNDS!

WTF?!

I see a bleak future for the new trainers at this point (thankfully!) They don’t seem to realize that what they are doing isn’t working any longer – if it ain’t broke don’t fix it…but hear’s news, this baby is broke! Boxing is great for card, but so is running and swimming and walking and so many other things along with eating right and making good choices. You need to change up your workouts to keep getting results. “It’s not rocket science”, right Brett??

Tonight we’ll see how the teams get back on track and if the Black Team can still keep the momentum going. The Red Team may have to go cannibal tonight and actually vote off one of “the family”.

Ooooohhhh, I hope so, I really do hope so.

Biggest Loser, tonight on NBC

Get your Strawberry Shortcake Extra Gum and get ready to be “wowed”

Ever wonder if you’re the only one who thinks what you’re thinking? Or if it was right to say what you were thinking out loud? I call that “turning my filter off” or a day when my “filter wasn’t turned on” more correctly. I’ve had more than my share of those and I am certain that there are many more on the horizon.

But today wasn’t one of those days, thankfully. I was well behaved and my filter was in good working order. It’s hard to make friends in your 40’s – the bar is set much higher than it was in high school (take a look back at who you’re “best friends” were then…are they still? I didn’t think so)

Today you’ve got to be interesting and have things in common, and by that I don’t mean that you both listened to Journey’s “Lovin’, Touchin’, Squeezin'” 216 times in a row the day that you bought the album. (yeah, you read it right – the ALBUM) You have to MAKE the time to be together, with or without your children/husband/pet/family, etc. It’s work to make friends. Really.

Maybe I’ll just place an ad…I did that once and got the most amazing friend out of it. We are still friends today. And she still loves me even when my filter isn’t working…why else would she be laughing?

I broke up, so lets celebrate

Sometimes a failed relationship is a blessing in disguise, no matter how much you feel that it should have lasted or worked.

When you suddenly realize that that person no longer loves you, and is willing to walk away without looking back, the feeling of failure is so thick and deep within your heart that it seems you'll never recover.

But…you do.

And, one day in the future, you hear about him/her or you see or hear something that reminds you of them. You think of them without that feeling. You realize that it wasn't meant to be, you would never have made them happy. And they would have made you miserable to stay. And you're glad it's over.

You smile, shake your head and heave a sigh of relief, then turn and embrace the life that you've made for yourself since then. What a blessing.

I apologize to my loyal readers of my Biggest Loser Updates (you three know who you are, so I won’t embarrass you by naming you) l have slipped in my duties and not delivered the product that you so justifiably deserve. For this I apologize. But I promise to pick up the slack this coming week and to “deliver the goods”.

How could I not after this last week’s elimination that almost made me cry?? You have to admit, if you have any heart at all, the last installment should have made you misty at least.
So, watch this space…I plan to fill it soon.

Cheetos and…

Psychedelic Ride

Surprisingly (to me and my then friend) we enjoyed eating Cheetos with Thin Mint Girl Scout cookies – taking a bite of one then the other to enjoy both in your mouth at the same time. Yum!

I am sure that the Girl Scouts of America had not intended for this combination when they created their most delicious treat, but did Cheetos have any idea? They are one of the more popular "munchie" foods…

(of course, this was during a 27 hour bus ride to my first Spring Break in Texas and we were under the influence of an illegal substance…it still counts though, right??)

They call me Crazybutt…Queen of the Squirrels
It will be a book of odd (but true!) happenings throughout my life, written with humor and sarcasm, and the bizarre circus of people that have crossed my path. The good times, the bad times, the weird times and the times that I wish I could make up a better excuse for why it happened.

And I will use the real names of the people involved, because hey, if my name is on the book that digs into the depths of my soul and psyche they should be able to handle being a character in the retelling…or at least a footnote.

The times demand that we not settle for climbing ordinary mountains

As a child I was never very competitive. I was last in the 50 yard dash, and it didn't really bother me. I didn't really take to team sports and my family never really pushed the idea.

I joined the cross country running team in high school to lose weight, not compete. I went to every practice and all of the meets – I never ran one race. I still got my letter at the end of the year, never got the jacket to put it on because I knew it would be my first and last. Just didn't need to compete I guess.

But as I've gotten older I've gotten more competitive – don't ask me why. I don't HAVE to win, but if I am in it – I am in it to win it. Just last year I found myself trying hard to beat my friends in my bootcamp class in sprints! I was determined to be first. I had no idea that I cared until the whistle blew.

And I will only fight harder if you tell me that I can't do it, I won't be happy, or I won't finish. The days of that girl are gone, the woman with a determined mind has taken her place.

The one area of my life that I am truly competitive in is rising to the challenge. Any challenge. I've moved to foreign countries, I've gone on vacations in places that I don't speak the language and gotten lost, I've learned new sports and conquered a fear of the ocean by competing in Dragon Boat races (okay, not completely over my fear but it's more manageable I am certain)

If it's a mountain to climb, a tunnel to get through, a life-altering event to deal with I will not only survive it, I will conquer it.

And don't tell me that I can't.

At this writing I feel so much better about the black team for showing themselves that they can be winners – and Arthur has finally started to get in the game for more than mind games. That weigh-in was spectacular! TWENTY POUNDS?! Where has that been the last six weeks?! Arthur has been holding out on us I think…

After the previous week’s challenge with Arthur scrambling the teams, and Jay being voted off because of it, I am certain that Arthur wasn’t feeling the “love” of his teammates. And what did he expect? But, he is a schmoozer – you’ve gotta give him that. He’s figured out a way to bring himself back into the fold, and the loving arms, of his fellow female teammates. He’s become the team project. “Should I use cheese on my salad? Is chicken better than steak?” Oh Arthur, I can see right through you, and I am sure many others watching at home are thinking the same thing. But hey, if it works and it makes everyone pull together as a team I guess he does have an idea of how this game is played. My hat is off to him (if I wore a hat, but you get the idea)

The black team is still suffering from “underdog-itis” and they need to get over it. All the whining in the world is not going to make a better number show up on the scale, and they need to be reminded that it is by percentage (not pounds) lost that the winners are determined. Thus leveling the playing field. So…quit yer cryin’! Too many women in one team can turn ugly, as we’ve started to notice this past week. A bit of a cat-fight was beginning to brew…

And not that I am against an all-women team (definitely not!) but a team of whiny women is annoying. And a team of whiny, uncoordinated, unorganized women is a death sentence for that team! (not to mention more annoying) They couldn’t even figure out how to get themselves out of a rope without having a nervous breakdown. Personally, I am offended for all of the women who watched this debacle. Were you screaming at the TV like I was? It was worse than watching a toddler’s soccer game where there is no score and and they run around aimlessly for two hours. Aarrgghh!!

The red team keeps winning these challenges – the strength and strategic challenges – making the black team feel inferior, but they can’t seem to win a challenge that deals with the real life issue of what goes into their mouths. And that brings us back to the same question: when will the red team realize that Brett and Cara are not giving them ALL of the tools that they will need to not only lose the weight but keep it off? Eventually they have to leave the ranch and make their own food and eat in restaurants, but without knowing how to prepare it or shop for it they are doomed. And there is only so much boxing that one person can be expected to do on their own.

I’m hoping for a “where are they now?” episode, in about a year, to see which team is more successful in the longterm. THAT would make a great special program for BL!

And when will this “family” house of cards completely cave-in on itself? (are you ready to just puke every time you hear that phrase from the red team?!… or is it just me??) It’s not far down the road I am guessing, because soon enough they will be playing as single players and then it will be every man/woman for themselves. That’s when we see who has who’s back and who is low man on the totem pole. Let the inbred, infighting begin!

Tonight is a big night for both teams: double elimination. The previews lead us to believe that it will be parents put to the test of choosing themselves over their children, but I have to question why it would only be between a parent and a child? If it’s double elimination it could very well be between two unrelated people, right? At least that’s what I got out of my probabilities class in high school. So much drama to hook you into watching, and I ask: do we really need that? Wouldn’t you watch it anyway?

I would…if only to see if Arthur continues to pull double-digits like he should have been doing up until now.

Only time will tell, and that time is tonight.

NBC. 8pm Central/7pm Eastern

Can you feel it??

The tide is turning and the game is heating up…