I was a bit surprised that I nailed it as easily as I did about who was going to walk off the show last night – but I expected more fireworks and fight before it happened. Not the gaping jaws and silence. So, a bit disappointing for me – what about you?

I think that we can all agree that if you need psychological support or life decision advice, Cara is not the trainer to go to. She listens…but that’s about it. (or maybe she’s not even listening, maybe she’s hearing music or replaying a boxing match in her head while someone talks to her, who knows?!) Unless you are blaming her for not getting to your goals, questioning her experience and/or training methods, then she is a screaming, crying lunatic in your face telling you to go train with someone else. What, is she like 14 years old or what? So, for Rulon to have that kind of discussion with her about getting what he needed out of this experience and not being there to make life-long friends was a waste of time and breath. She let him talk himself off the ranch and gave him a hug. Huh?

Now, if that had been Jillian…that’s a whole different story! (even my boys said that much – and they’re only 11 and 12 years old!) How is it possible that everyone was trying to keep Kaylee there because she wasn’t ready to finish her “journey” on her own, but they all stood there speechless when Rulon announced that he was going home “for personal reasons”. Not a death in his family, not an impending divorce, just personally he doesn’t want to do this anymore and prefers to go it alone. Okee-dokee. (notice that he didn’t hug any of the contestants? hmmm…)

One more thing about last night that I found disturbing was the challenge that involved Tara. While I totally love her, and she still looks great, I don’t agree with including past contestants in the challenges and allowing them to take the prize. Especially when it’s the Wheaties box, for Godssakes!

My heart just about broke for Rulon, and I don’t really like him that much but I respect  him as a world-class athlete, knowing that he wanted that for more reasons than anyone else. Maybe that was the final straw that made him certain it was time to go home? Makes you wonder…

This makes the finale even more interesting to watch, in my opinion, just to see if by then he is at his “competition weight” and looking fit and ripped or…if he’s gained 30 pounds since going home because he’s able to eat a bag of chips without any cameras watching him.

The other departure, Kaylee, wasn’t much of a surprise for me and I’m glad to see her finally gone. She’s been an underachiever for the most part and drifting – dead weight for the entire cast, really. Reminds me of Elizabeth from last season. Just to see her now that she’s at home, and has decided that she is already at her goal weight, says it all for me. And the new boyfriend? Really?? Whatever.

The final four is getting closer and my money is on the girls! Olivia, Hannah and Irene are keeping the pace and making no excuses. As for the men I could see Austin making it, Jay not so much. But we still have one more week…only time will tell.

Tonight we’re supposed to see someone “walk off the ranch…and it’s not who you think!”

Hmmm…who do you think it is??

The possibilities are endless, and the reasons even more so for most of them. What could make someone walk off the ranch? Are they able to come back or is that it for them? Also, will that be in addition to the person that is voted off tonight? We could be thinning the pack by two tonight! (no pun intended)

So many possibilities, it makes your head spin!

If I had to guess, I’d say it is either Rulon or Austin. I know that Rulon seems the obvious choice, but he’s been quiet and keeping his head down lately, which leads me to believe that a storm could be brewing. As for Austin, his unraveling could come after his dad was eliminated last week and he’s been struggling a bit anyway. But those are possibly too obvious…Irene? She barely says a word and keeps her numbers on target. Kaylee? again, too obvious.

I’m stumped!!

Of course, it could be a trainer, which would lead me to think of Cara (no, it’s not wishful thinking either…well, maybe a little bit…) She has struggled keeping people focused and believing in her as a trainer for a good portion of the season. She was shaken by Brett’s departure (reality check) and the end is near causing a bit more stress than usual. Hmmm…could be Cara.

In any event, we’ll find out tonight won’t we?

The end is near, the finish line is in sight, so the next few weeks are going to separate the champions from the losers. Time to see some real game play and some hard decisions being made – and in case you missed it last week, there is no love lost between Rulon and Olivia so that could make things even more interesting. We can all expect that if Olivia has a problem with him then so does Hannah, sisters stick together especially when one feels picked on. Rulon had better stay away from that yellow line, his “family” connections are dwindling and his enemy list is growing.

Grab your Extra Delight Dessert gum (my face is Key Lime Pie!)

and your big water bottle

and get ready for more Biggest Loser drama, tonight!

NBC 7pm/8pm Eastern

Ooooh, I’m all tingly inside!!

Tonight we separate the boys/girls from the men/women don’t we? It’s time to stand on your own two feet and prove that you’ve got what it takes – and to take responsibility for your own weight loss (or gain, as is the case for so many weeks lately)

Should be interesting to see how Kaylee manages this week, she’s been on again off again for the past 4 weeks – which, in my opinion, they should have let her go home when she had her “aha moment” three weeks ago that she was “ready”. Very Zen of her at the time, or Buddhist…what’s the point of making someone stay out of fatherly guilt? These people need to get a grip and stop acting like it’s a prison sentence to be there. They auditioned and tried out to be there, remember??

It’s a game and it’s about making life changes. One of those life changes being making decisions for yourself and standing up for what you want or believe in, right? Kaylee caved to pressure from Moses, and I found that irritating. Can you tell?

While I am geared for tonight’s episode – New Zealand and water challenges, what’s not to love? – I am a bit disgusted that they are bringing Brett back to train again. Say what? Correct me if I am wrong, but do any of the losing contestants get to return to try again once they are sent home? NO. And that should go for the trainers this season as well. The idea of separate trainers and teams was built into this season’s game playing and it made it a bit more interesting to know that their jobs were basically on the line – as it would be in real life, don’t you think? I mean, seriously, if you were training with someone to hit certain goals and you weren’t making those goals wouldn’t you fire them and find a new trainer? He failed, so he was sent home. Fair. Bringing him back? Not fair. Maybe we should ask Courtney how she feels about that??

(not to mention the fact that he’s a 2D version of a person most times…”it makes me sad”. Very deep Brett, don’t hold back, really)

And yes, I would stand by my conviction, even if it was my dearly beloved Bob or Jillian. That’s how the game was set up and I’m all about playing by the rules – and not this crap that “everyone is a winner” because…they’re NOT!!

Whew! I’m almost exhausted from that rant. Time to chew my Extra Dessert Delights gum (key lime pie is my new face) for a pick-me-up and a big water jug to replenish my fluids. I’ve got to make it to tonight, to watch the drama unfold.

Biggest Loser

tonight

7pm/8pm Eastern

NBC

Keith Richards on the Big Screen

1. A table at a fabulous restaurant, or even a small fish fry bar, that the food is sublime and the atmosphere is warm and inviting. It's not just the food, it's everything about it. You feel as if you've won the lottery somehow just by being there, so waiting is a small price to pay at that point.

2. Any line that my boys have asked me to stand in to make their "dream" come true. That could be a rollercoaster ride, a chance to sit on the lap of the Easter Bunny, or signing up for baseball for the season. To see the sparkle in their eyes and the glowing smile when we are successful makes it all worthwhile (even in the blistering sun, or the dead of winter…)

3. Waiting in line, and sleeping on the streets of Milwaukee for two days/nights, to buy Rolling Stones tickets in the 80's. The experience (my first and only time really) of meeting so many different people with the same interest, sharing food and drinks with total strangers and the feeling that we were doing something wild and wonderful was definitely worth it. Oh, and to realize that we were FIRST in line helped. Fifth row center, baby!!

Popping one in my mouth I am suddenly 7 or 8 years old again, sitting on the backyard swing with my Grandpa. He grew them behind the garage – or rather on the side of the garage not facing the backyard. I would carefully make my way through the narrow patch, picking the brightest ones on the bushes, gathering them in my plastic Cool Whip bowl taken from my Grandma’s kitchen. Then we would rinse them with the garden hose and I would also steal a cool drink as it dribbled down my chin, tasting of metal and summer. We’d take our “treasures” to the big swing, looking out over the white picket fence, as we ate each and every one. My Grandpa would smoke a Marlboro and sing a song, or tell me a story, while we swung slowly in the sunlight, under the swaying poplar trees.

Raspberries…always a taste of sunshine and love and the some of the happiest childhood memories I have.

We are finally on the brink of what would appear to be “normal” for most families – having all members of our household finally living together, under the same roof, Monday through Sunday. It hasn’t really begun since today is Saturday, but it is on the horizon when we wake up on Monday morning and realize that Daddy will be home again that night after work, not Friday evening when he flies home from New York.

I seriously did not realize the toll it might take on our marriage, on our kids and on my sanity when I had suggested this option as a solution to our moving dilemma a year ago. It sounded simple, almost too easy, to me at the time. I would move with the kids to our new home of Chicago while my husband finished out his assignment in New York and he would commute on the weekends to be with us. What’s the big deal? Lots of people do this – and they do it for YEARS from examples that I am aware of – and they make it work and raise their families and stay happily married. Right?

We lived in Germany for six years and during that time I realized that this arrangement was quite common in Europe. If the husband (presuming that he was the main bread winner, which in my circle of acquaintances was usually the norm) was to accept a new assignment and it was in another town or state, or even country, the wife and children would remain in the original home while he commuted on weekends. This was easier, I was told, than moving to a completely new place and having to find a new school, a new grocery store or, heaven forbid, a new bakery! (remember these were German acquaintances of mine and finding a good bakery was a main life-line for them) The look of horror that came over their faces at the mere suggestion that they might also move with their husband was almost comical.

The idea sprouted from the frustration we were feeling from not finding the “house of our dreams” in Connecticut. After searching, and viewing, so many houses within our parameters over the course of a full year (just ask our realtor, I’m sure her feelings of frustration were just as deep as ours) we were at our wits end and realizing that we would have to make a few too many concessions just to stay there. Plus, the “haunting of houses past” from the Chicago area when we had looked previous to our move to the East Coast was ever present – thanks to the internet – and that lead us to be even more disenchanted with what we were finding in our Connecticut area. Amazing how different housing markets can be!

Spoiled as we may have sounded, we really didn’t want to move back to the U.S. after a 10 year hiatus to “settle” for anything. We wanted to have the house that we felt we had “earned” in a sense. We didn’t live large while we lived abroad – just ask our friends and family – and we had saved a lot to put towards a new home when we returned. We had been renting for 10 years and were ready to put down roots and stay put finally. The dream was fading with each house viewing that I found myself not even wanting to walk through the door.  I already knew that I didn’t want it and I would never pay that price for it in the first place, so why am I wasting my time?? Ugh.

As I remember it, it was little more than a year ago and my husband was trying (in vain) to convince me that we should just all stay in Connecticut until his assignment was done…in March of 2011. Then we would move together and put the boys into a new school at that time. Our oldest was in middle school, the middle son was going into 5th grade and our youngest would just be starting kindergarten in the fall. Wouldn’t that be great? They’ll be the “new kids” and be so interesting to everyone that they’ll make friends fast and before you know it, it will be summer! Kids are so resilient, they bounce back…not. We’d been down that road before, and believe me, it’s a very bumpy road for us.

While I sat there at the computer with him, looking at still more houses (but now some in Chicago for our eventual move), I finally turned to him and said, “no.” No, what? Over the course of our travels and moves we have all had to make sacrifices – giving up friends and neighbors, changing schools, learning new languages and customs, trying to make a “normal” life all while he went to an office and did basically the same thing everyday. It really didn’t affect his everyday life for the most part, if he was to be honest. It was just a new big building to go to every morning and a few new people to work with (who usually spoke English) and the challenge of finding a few new restaurants in the area to have lunch in each day. His world hadn’t really been rocked the way that mine and the boys had with each move. But we had done it, and taken it on with excitement and hope. Very little grousing or whining usually before a move. I was, after all, a pioneer woman of the new century (in my mind) and our boys were willing to go wherever they were asked because that is who we are as a family.

This time, no. It’s time for someone else to make a sacrifice for the sake of the family. To “take one for the team” (I think I actually said that to him, believe it or not) and it was HIS turn. He was a bit taken aback at this suggestion and even tried to suggest that his sacrifices were just as many as ours, but he didn’t try for long. Then came the reaction of  a cornered dog – is he supposed to live ALONE for eight months? Do I think that there are just apartments available in the city for him to rent at a whim?? And what makes me think that the company will ALLOW us to do this?!

Again, living for someone else to make our decisions for us? …no. Yes, I did believe that he could manage an eight month stint living on his own in an apartment , yes I did believe there were many apartments to choose from in this down-turned economy (which turned out to be a stunning one bedroom in Manhattan on Park Avenue) and yes I believe that his company had better understand that this is the best fit for our family and will make him a better employee. (because if you look at it realistically, if the momma ain’t happy ain’t nobody gonna be happy…and that includes the papa!)

So, begrudgingly, he asked at work and they agreed that it made “perfect sense” and even assigned a relocation assistant to him to help him find this lovely apartment. I know that he hated to admit it, but this was the best idea for the situation and we would manage to make it work. We’ve done a lot more to test ourselves and our relationship, one more hurdle to get to our “American dream” wasn’t so much to ask, was it?

The beginning is the honeymoon period, it’s all new and exciting and so “jet-setting” like…then came the winter. We mustered through knowing that the holidays would break up the monotony of the weekly commute and give us some semblance of real family time. After the holidays was the real testing point (in my opinion), cold ugly weather and flight delays did not help our moods at all. The boys started asking when he would be home for good. I started withdrawing in so many ways I couldn’t remember ever enjoying anything before. He was grumpy and irritable…I was grumpy and irritable.

Did I mention that we were also finishing the unfinished basement of our new home during this entire time? That was my other job, when I wasn’t taking care of kids, volunteering at the school or attending to other domestic duties. I was the foreman of my own construction project on a daily basis with a parade of strange men going through my house. A new home, a new neighborhood, new schools and an absent husband/father…not enough of a challenge I guess.

This was perfection, right?

Finally, the light at the end of the seemingly endless tunnel, we came to March! The last couple of weeks were tinged with hope. There was a lightness in the air and we all started smiling a little bit more. Counting down the days until the last flight from New York…are we there yet?? Yes!

Of course, this won’t be perfect either but it will seem somewhat normal. More normal than I’ve had in a very long time. We are finally a family in the house together. We are living “back home” for the first time in over 10 years, so we have the larger family expectations to get used to again. It will have it’s challenges, but I know that we can handle them if we have managed this latest chapter of adjustment. We may have gone into it somewhat blind and stupid, but we came out on the other side still holding hands, still a family. We made it.

Just got back from a family night out bowling with the boys. The bowling was fun, and less than eventful with the exception that nobody ended up crying or injured – always  a plus in my book. After the “fun” of the early evening we realized that dinner was next on the agenda, and I had no intention of going home to whip up a homemade meal (don’t ask me why, maybe it’s that “spring break” feeling that is in the air that makes me think that I am also on vacation….)

My husband turns to me and asks “what are we doing about dinner??” My first instinct was “Fish Fry!!” It is Friday during Lenten season, and I haven’t been to a real fish fry since I was a child, to be honest. Back then, my family and I would get ourselves cleaned up to go to the VFW for a big night out to feast on all-you-can-eat perch while sitting at banquet tables surrounded by our friend and neighbors. The highlight for me was the “kiddy cocktail” that my father would treat me to while he sipped his Budweiser beer in the area designated for the bar in the hall. Then we (my brother and I) would run around looking for playmates and school friends to hang with while we wolfed down a few pieces of fish and some french fries. For some reason this all came back to me this week and I felt the need to recreate that atmosphere in some respect. We’re back in the Chicago area, so why not??

I directed Ray (my husband) to the bar that I had noticed earlier in the week and he made the suggestion that we should check it out first before bringing our children into a bar for food – just in case it wasn’t “family friendly” (funny to think that we have to consider this now, when we were kids you just went into the bar with your parents and entertained yourself quietly while eating peanuts). Low and behold, the sign on the door read: “Welcome family and friends” That was all we needed! Hop out boys, we have arrived.

Trying to describe the feeling of being there is almost fruitless. If you could have seen the stupid grins my husband and I had on our faces, and our attempt to describe our childhood memories of this same experience to our children, you would understand it perfectly. We were home. It’s been over 10 years since we’ve felt at home anywhere (besides in our own family’s houses), but we are slowly finding our way now. New town, new surroundings, but soon to be “our town” and “our place” just like it was before we ever boarded that plane for Germany so long ago.

It happens slowly, I know, but to know that it WILL happen is so much more rewarding than the distant memories of our past. We are making new memories with our own family and so happy to see the parallel to our own lives – it’s not just iPods, and laptops and cellphones for this generation like we would like to believe. It’s building new traditions and memories, sharing our past with the present and making our family ties that much stronger. The best thing said all night was “when can we come back?” with the others nodding their heads in agreement while their smiles lit up the room.

Yes, this all from eating at a fish fry….must have been some great perch, don’t you think?

Yes, another parenting dilemma. Well, maybe it’s one of those dilemma’s that’s “just me”, but it is still a dilemma in my world. I was just wondering when it became necessary to oversee your children’s schoolwork, grades and teacher interactions with the finesse of an FBI or CIA agent? When or where was it voted on (and approved obviously without my knowledge) that knowing every detail of their school experience would be good for me or any other parent for that matter??

The newest in technological advances include being able to see your children’s grades, almost immediately, posted online. This is not just an overview, no sir, this is every homework assignment, every quiz and every test…I’m surprised that they don’t post trips to the bathroom! With this knowledge comes great responsibility, of course.

Now that I can access this information I am almost “expected” to check this constantly. Not just weekly, or bi-weekly, but DAILY. Yes, I should be completely aware and involved in my sons’ academic activity. I suppose that this is a way to encourage regular nagging to make sure that they complete assignments on time and that they study for upcoming tests and quizzes…but it doesn’t really work that way for me.

Please don’t misunderstand, I am all for being in tune to what is going on in my children’s classes and in making sure that they put in their best effort and get the most out of their education that is possible. Truly. I was raised with the expectation that there be nothing below a “C” on my report card or I would be forced to suffer through some form of punishment, be it grounding from life’s fun times or a debilitating lecture that let me know that my parents were “disappointed”. Most of my school life I managed A’s and B’s regularly and expect the same from my sons now.

The part that I find so annoying, and presumptuous, is that I am now basically held hostage to this online forum. Not only do they post the grades online, but the assignments are online as well – so there is no paper trail of a syllabus to speak of from what I have seen (then again, I haven’t rifled through my son’s backpack and binder this week which I am sure is also on my “parental to-do list”) Nor does it make the teachers any more accountable for what is assigned, retrieved and graded. My son has been going in a loop with his Spanish teacher for two weeks over supposed missing assignments that have resulted in failing marks, only to be told that “look here, I found them in this pile on my desk”. Hmmm…really? This is also the same teacher that I have emailed twice regarding this issue and never received a reply. Double Hmmm…. (By the way, since that finding I have yet to see the grade corrections made online, so he still has an “F” this week.)

What is a parent to do? This all makes home-schooling look like nirvana! Seriously. I feel as if the world has shifted off of it’s axis and left me spinning in my tracks about a half of a beat behind all of the other parents. You know those parents, or maybe you ARE one of those parents, who know when each and every quiz and test is coming and check the online sources not only daily but almost hourly. They also sit down and help their child study, until midnight if necessary, with flashcards and diagrams and the computer “googling” away  just to make sure that little Bobby passes his Science test.

It really is just me, isn’t it? I am a bad parent, a rebel without a cause.

I guess that those overseas experiences that we have touted to our kids as being “great life lessons” have their rewards…and repercussions. In my case it’s feeling lost in the American school system, not knowing what is really expected of me as a parent or what is truly expected of my children as students. Or is it just feeling resentment that the rules have been changed and I didn’t get the memo? Either way, I am trying to assimilate and step-up to the new challenges – faking it if I have to – because, the way I see it, if I don’t my boys will be living under the freeway (or in my basement) in their adulthood and I do not cherish that idea.

Just when I thought my schooling was over I realize that it’s only just begun.

Just had my brother over with his new girlfriend and it makes you wonder what makes families meld? What makes us stand up for each other? What make us decide that we are a family? Hard to tell, to be honest. Most of us come from the “nuclear family” and think that the rest of the population is just  a spin-off of a Jerry Springer episode. While the other 24% realize that there is more to the equation than we were brought up to believe. We all have a funky past, even if it was “normal” if you really get down to it. Did your parents meet in a bar? Were they highschool/ college sweethearts? That’s weird if you really think about it.

We go through life with the same people and think that that is “normal” . Then we may move , or go away to school,  and realize that there is so much more out there – and so many other people out there! Is that wrong? Not necessarily. I find myself wishing that I had that special history with my husband that we have the same highschool memories and college memories like other couples. Then I realize that there is more to the equation.

We come from different backgrounds, with different friends, and that makes us more willing to roll with the changes that life hands us (I hope) I know now that had I stayed with the other boyfriends from  highschool or college I may not have had the same life experiences that I have had so far. And for that I am more than glad.

I was looking at my life for the longterm and was not happy with the expectation 12 years ago – which is part of what lead us to Germany. I know now, that had I been a different kind of wife, our time in Germany would have been short and different. But I am not that woman, that wife. I embraced it, and suffered through it, and learned to love it. It made us stronger. It made me stonger.

Long story short (too late) I am glad that we took the challenge and we proved to ourselves that we were stronger than any outside forces. Not many couples get that opportunity – or survive it when they do.

Who could it be? This week’s show promises to deliver a new surprise for the contestants and, by the looks of the previews, some are not handling this week as well as others. Have you seen Alli’s response to someone with regards that “This is not a prison. If you do not want to be here anymore you are free to leave.”

Wow! Bring it on, Alli.

Of course, there are lots of preview scenes of Bob and Jillian covering their eyes and looking gobsmacked, but what else is new? (that used to be my favorite part of the weigh-ins: watching Bob’s face with his wide-eyed jaw-dropping reaction…he’s so jaded now that he doesn’t even react sometimes…sad, very sad…) At least we’re not being tortured with more bug-eyed looks from Cara in the previews, thank goodness!

As for last week’s results I have to say that I was disappointed in the entire team as a whole. A group loss of 65 pounds should have been an easy mark to make, especially once they won the pop-challenge that gave them a 5 pound advantage. (gotta say, neither my boys or I thought that they were going to pull it off at one point) It does make you wonder if winning that advantage made them slack off a bit, or trust themselves too much to hit their goal.

Whatever.

The sad, but expected, part was watching Marci take the hit for the team. I expected it, truly. She is the type to take one for the team and, let’s be honest, she’s made her goal weight already and only has 18% body fat at this point. What more could she do?? She looks awesome and is so good-hearted it’s hard to find fault in her request. The hardest part was watching her give her “goodbye” speech which resembled a funeral or memorial. The amount of tears from those girls was just an incredible, emotional outpouring that you don’t usually see – at least not to this extreme. We know that Marci is in a good place and happy with her accomplishments, and that’s what counts.

Along with the “mystery returning contestant” the group will now be divided into FOUR teams. Hmmmm…can’t wait to see how that works out. So who will we find walking into the gym this week? Hard to tell, but it has made me wonder (which is better than most of the weeks leading up to now) Will the returning player be Arthur? That would be so fantastic! And somewhat reasonable – he is the neediest (health-wise) contestant EVER in BL history. Or could it be one of the twins? I highly doubt that either one of them would even consider coming back – why, so they could throw the weigh-in to be sent home again?? Maybe it’s Q? THAT would bring some drama back to the ranch, now wouldn’t it? He didn’t leave feeling love from his fellow red team. Coming back could create some juicy confrontations.

Hmmm…very curious…

So many possibilities, so many plot lines that are thickening as we ponder. It’s warming up, not “hot” yet, but the heat has been turned up a notch and I am ready to bask in the glow.

Tuesday night 7pm Central/8pm Eastern time on NBC

Biggest Loser

Grab a seat, get a snack in your Ziploc bag

or get your Extra “Dessert Delights” gum ready,

it’s a new beginning for one and the beginning of the end for another