So far this summer has been a busy one, almost unusually so from my perspective.

Gone are the days of sitting in the backyard with a gang of little boys climbing the trees, swinging on the swingset and eating a Nutella sandwich lunch on the patio. Gone is the wading pool with the Little Tikes slide leading into it, for an added challenge for our little daredevils. Also gone are the days of letting the day direct itself and deciding at a moment’s notice to go exploring, head to the public pool/beach or visiting a park with nothing else on our calendar for the day (with the exception of thinking of what to make for dinner when my husband came home). The days would drift into one another and each day had it’s own reward at the end of time well spent being “us” and the lack of time constraints that school always imposes.

Some of those days would not be the best summer weather days and we would have to go to “plan B” of finding an indoor activity to keep us all busy and happy (and for mommy to be sane by dinner time) Those days we would get out the playdoh, or paints, or beads and make craft projects with the cd player blasting the latest kids music, or break out the Duplo Legos and build the biggest block tower we could reach – usually only about 5 feet due to my height restrictions. And still, some days, we would get out all of our games and play until we were tired of taking turns. Our middle son had an addiction  to “CandyLand” and a bit later “Yahtzee”, our oldest to “Obstgarten” and “Quips” (both European games introduced to us by our favorite German friends/family) Once our youngest came along he picked up where the other two boys left off and also favored “CandyLand”,  “Obstgarten”, “Quips” and “Yahtzee” as well as currently “Monopoly” and “Sorry Sliders” (he’s six by the way) We also play card games (that may or may not involve a bit of gambling…some things have to be done to keep the adults interested every now and then) and the boys have all learned how to play chess and checkers (some better than others!)

The challenges can go on for days!

This summer I have come to realize that we may not be “normal” by the American standard (what else is new?) We have spent time with other families, had playdates at our house, and realized that we may be the only family around that actually plays games?! On a board?! It’s the one of the most amazing things I have witnessed since moving back stateside.

Just last month while visiting with a group of families I was stunned to find a group of preteen and teenage girls had never played “Scrabble” or “Yahtzee” before, plus they didn’t have any idea HOW the games were played. We’ve had playdates that six year old boys have never played “Sorry” or checkers or “Trouble” or any other young game and they also had no idea how to play. My youngest takes it all in stride and offers to teach anyone who will learn so he can have a chance to win, of course.

But this all got me thinking, and worrying, that maybe this is becoming a lost art. Maybe we are all getting too busy to actually sit down and play a game with our kids, to teach them how to take turns and how to win and lose. It’s really a very basic idea, but one that is on it’s way out unless we pay attention.

I realize that we are in a new age of technology and kids all want an i-Pod touch or i-Phone or DSLite or…whatever is new and cool on the market. I also realize that it is sometimes easier to just hand them a handheld game or turn on the TV and keep them busy while you get your “stuff done” (I’m just as guilty as the next parent, of that I am sure) but I am sensing that some of us do it more often than we really need. Parenting isn’t just keeping them healthy and safe, fed and clothed, loved and protected. Parenting is also about teaching, sharing, leading by example. It’s taking the time even when you’d much rather read the paper or watch the latest reality TV show or just sit and be alone. I feel that if we don’t do it now we will regret it later with a new generation of adults who have fewer values in human contact, know how to win and lose and play by the rules.

Our two oldest boys are old enough to not want to play games now, but they still do play. Sometimes I rely on them to play a game with our youngest while I get dinner ready or finish a load of laundry, whatever, but they play. They still play with their i-Pods and DSLs but they also love to sit around the table and play “Yahtzee” or “Monopoly” or challenge each other to a game of chess.

Maybe it’s just us…but I hope not.

I know that we have good kids, I do. I like to think that we have done a pretty good job in raising them to be polite, thoughtful, neat and well-mannered along with intelligent, funny and loving. And I have heard these compliments about all of them over the course of the combined years of raising them – my “performance review” so to speak, and I am proud to hear it.

But I’ve also heard (and remember) what a nightmare a family road-trip can be, even with the best behaved children, so I was a bit surprised when our boys requested a road-trip of 15 hours one-way. What kid comes up with this idea and thinks that it “sounds like fun!”

Mine.

So, here we are after two days on the road finally arriving at our destination and oddly enough…we are all still happy. I have to thank technology for most of this perceived success. Let’s face it, when I was a kid we didn’t have a built in DVD player with wireless headphones (heck, we didn’t even know what DVDs were!) or handheld game systems, or an iPod touch to play with and watch more movies or listen to our own music. We also didn’t have the option of sitting in seats that kept us from touching one another (remember that fight? “he’s touching me!” “she’s on my side of the seat!”) No, we’ve come a long way from those days. And while that may take away from the “bonding” that so many child psychologists are trying to convince us happens on these trips as long as we leave technology out of it, I feel that we still got that experience even with a little help from our “friends” (iPod and DVD player)

We talked, they played travel Yahtzee in the back seat while I kept my eyes on the road, we listened to the comedy channels and the 70’s and 80’s hits on XM radio, and we ate in a couple of restaurants together that may not have been heavy on nutrition but easy and comfortable.

Not to mention the hotel stay – you’d have thought that the Holiday Inn Express had become the J.W. Marriott by the way my boys reacted. They LOVED the room! We swam in the dinky little pool, ordered pizza that was delivered (hot) to our hotel room door and popped Boy Scout microwave popcorn in our room microwave while we watched the Discovery Channel and learned how to make a spare tire from found objects in the wild (who knew you could do that??) It was pure perfection. Not one fight, not one tear the entire time.

So, the next time that they suggest a road-trip I will gladly Mapquest a destination and load the car, with a smile on my face. It is so much more worth it than air travel, both in cost and benefit, believe me. I’ve done both. A road-trip is an adventure with endless possibilities. And next time I will leave enough time on either end of our destination to make a few extra stops. Maybe the Bat Factory to get engraved baseball bats or an off the road antique shop to look for rare coins, or a local amusement park for a few hours of crazy fun. Those are the things that take the everyday road-trip to the next level. Those are the memory makers.

But for this time we’re happy with getting to our destination and seeing our favorite East Coast friends and family, making memories, sharing laughs…just being together.

It all worked out. I kept my mouth shut and waited for the stars to align and figured if it worked out it was meant to be.

And it did. So, I guess it was.

I had promised the boys that we would take a “road trip” this summer to go back to Connecticut for a visit to the friends that we miss back there, but I really wasn’t sure if it would work out with the timing of everything else this summer. Plus, I hadn’t really cleared it with my husband and could already picture the pouting and hear the hissy fit that he would put up (since he wasn’t really included in our roadtrip and would be left to his own devices for a week, something that he pretty much detests and resents)

So…I waited. I had a feeling that it would all shake out, I just needed to do it ninja-style.

Patience has it’s own rewards. And the god’s smiled on me, in a sense. He mentioned that his cousins and uncle would be fishing this coming month and had invited him (yet again) but he begged off since he would already be gone golfing the weekend before – and that just didn’t seem fair to me and the kids for him to be gone two weekends in a row (true. and I give him big credit for that, seriously)

That is when I went into “ninja-mode”.

It starts off sweet enough, and my intentions are for everyone to win, so it’s not like I’m really lying or trying to pull a fast one. I very generously offered to give my blessing for him to go on the fishing trip that he had been invited to multiple times but never able to attend, a vacation with his family that he truly deserves and can take advantage of now that we have moved “back home”. But I went on to offer that I could easily keep the boys happy and busy with a road trip to Connecticut. They had been asking to do this since January and would really love it if we could get back for a visit. This way we’d only miss each other for a few days outside of the weekend, and he’d mainly be at work for those days. No problem, really!

His face lightened, his eyebrows went up and he said, “really?” Sure! It will be fun and the boys have been begging to go, so everyone will be happy. (smile,smile) He accepted and before he dialed his cousin’s number he turned to me and said, “you’ll need to get a new set of tires before you make that trip, you know.”

So, I am off to Connecticut with all four boys in a happy place…even my car is happy now that it is getting new tires, but my car is a girl…and I am happy, too. To see great friends, eat fresh seafood and get out of town on the open road to clear the cobwebs of the last school year and renovation project out of my brain is the best vacation I can think of at this point.

I think that we all needed this.

I just had to convince him…ninja-style.

It was unexpected and surprising, not that it hasn’t happened before, but I thought of you today.

I was sitting in an auditorium surrounded by other proud parents listening to our collective children play their hearts out to impress us. Preston played his trumpet with such confidence, not just because he was sure of his talent but also because he was dressed for success with his shirt and tie. He loves the spotlight, along with one of his brothers, like someone else I can remember.

His time was done and the next group of eager young musicians took the stage. The teacher announced the piece, which left me trying to place it, figuring that I was too musically ignorant to really know what piece would be next. I don’t listen to classical music very much, it had to be something that I might recognize but never be able to place.

But then they began to play and it took my breath away. My eyes stung and I was paralyzed. I was alone, in my own world, remembering you playing this song when I was a child. Suddenly a video of you was playing in my mind and you were there in front of me. You were smiling and laughing, playing your guitar and singing, and I was in awe of you. So in love with you. It was as if you had reached out and touched me in that moment, to let me know that you were still there even though you’ve been gone for a long time.

I sat through the entire song in my world of memories surrounded by my family, friends and strangers and yet I was alone in my thoughts. I wished that you could meet them all, but most of all, that they could all have met you. I wished that my children would know the creative, artistic, talented man that you were. I wished that they would understand where I got my quirky sense of humor and my habit of making friends wherever we are, my sense of adventure and my love of all types of music. I wished that they could have heard you play, and  played along with you, singing along to “Summertime”.

They played “Summertime” and I thought of you, and I missed you.

Yes, it’s finally here and I am REALLY excited! The big finale is here and I am ready.

No Milk Duds this time (I’ve learned my lesson) but a veggie sandwich on whole wheat from Jimmy Johns is a “must do” for our Biggest Loser nights – it has become a weekly tradition in my house this season. And for dessert? Extra Dessert Delight Gum, of course 😉

So, who do you think will take home the big prize? My money is on Irene. She’s had the highest percentage of weight loss for the entire season so far and she has a lot of determination. Plus, I kind of want her to win it since she seem to be the one who really needs it.

If you think about it, Olivia has already won in her own sense. Her husband lost weight to join her in her journey, she’s won money and a car and has all she needs to embark on a new life with her husband and hopefully a house full of children soon enough. She doesn’t NEED to win, does she?

And Hannah may not have won big money (prizes of course – the $15,000 home gym she just won last week) but she’s got enough personality to make up for that, don’t you agree? If Hannah doesn’t end up with a talk show or as an emcee of something after this is all over I will be shocked! She has pretty much become the STAR of the show if you pay attention to the previews and the show’s interviews. I think that if you seriously put all of her onscreen interviews/scenes together and timed them she would have two to three times more screen time than any other contestant. Why? Because she’s just so darn likable! She’s funny, quirky, well-spoken and lovable. She doesn’t really NEED to win, she’ll be fine without it I am certain. Although she would make a great spokesperson for BL…now I’m a bit torn…

Have you noticed that I haven’t included Jay? In my opinion he won’t make it as a finalist so he’s out of the running already in my mind. He doesn’t have the charisma or the drive, or the heartbreaking story, that makes him a top pick for staying. His “nine lives” have been used up!

So, that leaves us with Irene. Shy, quiet, unassuming Irene. She needs to come out of her shell still more than she did last week and she needs to feel successful. She needs to find the strength from within to change her life, but a little bit of confetti and a check for $250,000 wouldn’t hurt either. It might lighten her load for going back to school and give her more reason to keep the weight off.

Only time will tell…fingers crossed for Irene.

One last thing, this is Jillian’s last season (bummer) which may add to the festivities of the finale. Then again, she seems to be keeping it low-key which will make me more sad if they don’t do a proper goodbye to her (sigh) I cannot imagine this show without her, seriously. Or Bob without her…
“Of all the friends I’ve made here I’m going to miss you the most, Scarecrow”

Tonight on NBC: BIGGEST LOSER FINALE
Get your big water bottle and your healthy snack – and don’t forget to do push-ups and sit-ups during the commercial breaks!

I was just reading the paper (as I try to do daily) and noticed the upteenth article to say “goodbye” to Oprah. Of course, it’s a Chicago newspaper and I totally expect the tributes and the letters and the gaga-ing reaction to her “secret finale” this week (it is this week, right?) But…I’m over it.

Maybe because I was out of the country for a good ten years, and these happened to be my “raising babies” years, I missed the connection to Oprah that so many of my friends and family feel to her. I didn’t have that morning fix while I fed the kids their snack of Cheerios and apple juice in their highchairs. I watched videos of Teletubbies instead. Or Sesame Street, Bob the Builder (in English), Blues Clues, etc. Not really fulfilling mommy-TV, I admit, but it made for a more peaceful balance in my day, trust me.

I do remember Oprah first coming onto the scene and how her appearance created the disappearance of the talk show host I truly loved: Phil Donahue. I mean if he’s good enough for “That Girl” Marlo Thomas, he was definitely good enough for me! I loved his thoughtful way of asking questions while his white hair bobbed over the microphone, and how he would float an idea out to the audience to get a reaction, a thinking reaction, which was so new to the talk show scene at the time. But Phil couldn’t keep up with Oprah’s style and the way she talked to women and for women. It was liberating for many, myself included. I was sad to see Phil leave, thinking that I would miss him forever and never watch daytime TV with the same attention, but Oprah filled that void and gave me reasons to think beyond my own living room. Phil became a distant memory.

All too soon, our family moved out of the country and my daily fixes of Oprah came to a screeching halt. I was too busy trying to get our lives together to worry about what book Oprah was suggesting today or what marriage she was trying to save – or which celebrity she was going to be interviewing as if I could remember any of them at that point! – and the internet was in it’s infancy, lacking that Yahoo/Facebook connection to American culture.

So here I am, twelve years later, living in the Chicago area with school age children and the freedom and time to watch daytime TV if I so choose…but I usually don’t. Still too many other things vying for my attention aside from my growing boys – laundry, grocery shopping, Facebook, email, phone calls, school plays, volunteering assignments, etc. – who has time to watch daytime TV?? And for that matter get so wrapped up in saying “goodbye” to someone I really don’t know…sigh…

While I get the whole idea of the importance of Oprah, the woman and the show, I have to say…I’m over it.

Can we talk about something else now??

I was a bit surprised that I nailed it as easily as I did about who was going to walk off the show last night – but I expected more fireworks and fight before it happened. Not the gaping jaws and silence. So, a bit disappointing for me – what about you?

I think that we can all agree that if you need psychological support or life decision advice, Cara is not the trainer to go to. She listens…but that’s about it. (or maybe she’s not even listening, maybe she’s hearing music or replaying a boxing match in her head while someone talks to her, who knows?!) Unless you are blaming her for not getting to your goals, questioning her experience and/or training methods, then she is a screaming, crying lunatic in your face telling you to go train with someone else. What, is she like 14 years old or what? So, for Rulon to have that kind of discussion with her about getting what he needed out of this experience and not being there to make life-long friends was a waste of time and breath. She let him talk himself off the ranch and gave him a hug. Huh?

Now, if that had been Jillian…that’s a whole different story! (even my boys said that much – and they’re only 11 and 12 years old!) How is it possible that everyone was trying to keep Kaylee there because she wasn’t ready to finish her “journey” on her own, but they all stood there speechless when Rulon announced that he was going home “for personal reasons”. Not a death in his family, not an impending divorce, just personally he doesn’t want to do this anymore and prefers to go it alone. Okee-dokee. (notice that he didn’t hug any of the contestants? hmmm…)

One more thing about last night that I found disturbing was the challenge that involved Tara. While I totally love her, and she still looks great, I don’t agree with including past contestants in the challenges and allowing them to take the prize. Especially when it’s the Wheaties box, for Godssakes!

My heart just about broke for Rulon, and I don’t really like him that much but I respect  him as a world-class athlete, knowing that he wanted that for more reasons than anyone else. Maybe that was the final straw that made him certain it was time to go home? Makes you wonder…

This makes the finale even more interesting to watch, in my opinion, just to see if by then he is at his “competition weight” and looking fit and ripped or…if he’s gained 30 pounds since going home because he’s able to eat a bag of chips without any cameras watching him.

The other departure, Kaylee, wasn’t much of a surprise for me and I’m glad to see her finally gone. She’s been an underachiever for the most part and drifting – dead weight for the entire cast, really. Reminds me of Elizabeth from last season. Just to see her now that she’s at home, and has decided that she is already at her goal weight, says it all for me. And the new boyfriend? Really?? Whatever.

The final four is getting closer and my money is on the girls! Olivia, Hannah and Irene are keeping the pace and making no excuses. As for the men I could see Austin making it, Jay not so much. But we still have one more week…only time will tell.

Tonight we’re supposed to see someone “walk off the ranch…and it’s not who you think!”

Hmmm…who do you think it is??

The possibilities are endless, and the reasons even more so for most of them. What could make someone walk off the ranch? Are they able to come back or is that it for them? Also, will that be in addition to the person that is voted off tonight? We could be thinning the pack by two tonight! (no pun intended)

So many possibilities, it makes your head spin!

If I had to guess, I’d say it is either Rulon or Austin. I know that Rulon seems the obvious choice, but he’s been quiet and keeping his head down lately, which leads me to believe that a storm could be brewing. As for Austin, his unraveling could come after his dad was eliminated last week and he’s been struggling a bit anyway. But those are possibly too obvious…Irene? She barely says a word and keeps her numbers on target. Kaylee? again, too obvious.

I’m stumped!!

Of course, it could be a trainer, which would lead me to think of Cara (no, it’s not wishful thinking either…well, maybe a little bit…) She has struggled keeping people focused and believing in her as a trainer for a good portion of the season. She was shaken by Brett’s departure (reality check) and the end is near causing a bit more stress than usual. Hmmm…could be Cara.

In any event, we’ll find out tonight won’t we?

The end is near, the finish line is in sight, so the next few weeks are going to separate the champions from the losers. Time to see some real game play and some hard decisions being made – and in case you missed it last week, there is no love lost between Rulon and Olivia so that could make things even more interesting. We can all expect that if Olivia has a problem with him then so does Hannah, sisters stick together especially when one feels picked on. Rulon had better stay away from that yellow line, his “family” connections are dwindling and his enemy list is growing.

Grab your Extra Delight Dessert gum (my face is Key Lime Pie!)

and your big water bottle

and get ready for more Biggest Loser drama, tonight!

NBC 7pm/8pm Eastern

Ooooh, I’m all tingly inside!!